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Why bother preparing all these little things when I'd always end up disappointed. I look at the piece of note I'd written earlier, I feel like shredding it into bits.
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I am so sad today. I spoilt the entire plan that I had been thinking about everyday for the past weeks. It fell apart I felt so horrible I can't remember how much I cried. Lazerboyz made me feel better by singing songs for me. But I'm still a little sad :(
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I see it going down. So what happens if those who don't understand matter at the same time? (a thought after reading Caryn's) Do I make them understand? Or do I make them not matter to me. At worst I'll be living alone, which wouldn't be all that bad. At least I'm living only for myself, which is less tiring. |
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I AM TIRED I WANT TO SLEEP BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUST FINISH HOMEWORK..................! OKAY I HAVE JUST FOUND OUT SOME WTF-BITCHES IN MY SCHOOL YAYY LAZERBOYZZZZ NICE DESSERT TOMORROW PLEASE? |
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I appear to be fine in front of everyone else, because I only want to come back and cry to you.
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I have yet to really really start on finacc, and omg and it's thursday! I can't wait for tomorrow to come, so that i can visit gc's p(a)lace! I want the acc test to be over, so it wouldn't be hanging on my mind all the time because I haven't done anything to it, and I can start on card making nyehheh! :) LAZERBOYZ IS COMING BACK NEXT WEEK YAYYYYYYYYYY ( <3 ) |
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omg its so fastttttt lazerboyz has been on A380 for 4 hours and i miss him already sigh! for the past few days i havent been feeling much because of the usual quarrels but after sending him off i felt so very much more to keep my promises. now that i have more time to spend with my friends and books, i should be happier because we've been arguing on our priorities since the start of school. i thought i'd feel less burdened with one big commitment far far away, but it clearly isnt so :(
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Everyone does their tutorials in uni. If only I were still in 67 :(
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Running away takes determination to run far enough and never to look back. The empty space between the frames makes me wonder if things would remain that way.
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Shampooing at seven-ish stirred memories of 13 then 163 to Seraya, all of a sudden. So I set the alarm at 7am, leaving 2 1/2 hours of allowance for me to stroll into mpsh 5 and sit down exactly a second before it was time to begin the paper. In the morning, I was caught in the crowd travelling on the train and for once I was so glad that I was heading for SCHOOL, not WORK omg. The last time I wrote an essay was like 8 months ago?! Rusty vocab and hand that felt so stiff; I forgot about topic sentences hehe oops! Anyhow, yay that it's over!!!!!!!!!!! It's a thousand times better than Alevel gp (which I barely survived with the help of some paracetemol) because I could think and plan, feeling good about my answer after it ended. Nonetheless it's an English paper, so I wouldn't know if I'd done well in it. No extra modules for me pls!!!!!!!!!!! I was wondering if my planning skills have improved after all the quarrels I've had with Lazerboyz, which often led to me having to clearly put across my points. As I was listening to my mp3 on the way to nus, some songs reminded me of the tekong days which were so much happier. So what if I wouldn't be hurt. Then I asked myself, is this what I wanted?
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Yay my Le Pliage is coming from France soon! Somehow the orientation pictures I see everywhere on Facebook look awkward and I don't want school to start. I feel like a Darius, the anti-social heheeeh. I'd rather bus a long way down to have lunch with Lazerboyz every afternoon :( We had macarons today! I have always thought that they're biscuits with cream in between and it turns out that they're chewy soft! Not as nice as I thought they'd be, umm. They taste too artificial, appealing only to the eyes. Nevertheless pretty little sweet things which make me happy. Macarons come in happy colours.
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It begins with a fight in the morning and ends with one before I go to sleep. My sisters would quarrel about who gets tired cleaning the house. She said my mum has sucidal thoughts. It kinda worries me, although I often have suicidal thoughts too. I'm waiting for my turn to mop the dining area when my sis is done with the bedroom. And so, the h1n1 queen lies on her bed daily, talking on the phone with her newfound love, watching her favourite vcds and all she needs to do is to stay in the room for the rest of the HQO while the rest of the family work hard to sterilize everything, put on our masks each time we enter the room to bring her food and clean clothes, minimize contact with friends, wash our hands so many times with dettol that they become so wrinkled. Everyone is tired, and I'm sick of listening to the conversation outside my room. I thought of bringing my boy some sweets to perk him up since he didnt sleep much last night, and some honey lemon during his break, but I decided that it is time I should help out more in this household. And it is also time that I run out only when I am free instead of running out whenever he is free. I think about how things get worse each time he fails to understand the situation, it only pains me. Okay I have to go. Fuck my life.
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It was my kid's birthday yesterday and I felt much better after I found out that she'd bought me a piece of chocolate durian cake. How sweet is that. But I can't go to the home today because my sis has h1n1 and the sky is grey and I feel like running away and away and away |
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Yay I'm so glad that I'm back here where there's no more bibimbap and bbq pork everyday!!!!!!!!!!!! But I feel so uncomfortable without cabbage and lettuce in every meal Korea is really awesome their weather and food is so good and healthy it's no wonder their skin is so bouncy and fair and smooth and nice (not that I've touched before) and and I shit everyday in Korea!!!!! I'd almost thought that I have colon cancer having constipation over here but it's just the diet I guess! I think their fashion sense is very very awesome too all the pretty ladies everywhere (with fake double eyelids) in sexy high heels and short skirts wheeeee when I came back everyone seem to be wearing wtf ugly clothes :( and I didnt sign up for biz camp but well my lazerboyz gets to go home everyday yay and we're going running afterwards! Oh my alum group is 2009L and shao is 2009K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant believe this we were so close D: D: My class has two cedarians whom I dont really know but nvm there're Malays!!!!!!! I am so happy two years in a cheena pok school I miss having Malay friends, really really. Okay, I'm almost done unpacking my stuff and I think I really bought too little :( I got shirts, necklace, ginseng powder, facial products and kimchi for my family but I barely bought stuff for myself!! I have a few Laneige, Skinfood, Faceshop, two tops, a belt, a pair of earrings, a reindeer hairband from Everland, BB cream! haha some herbal tea and nail polish for myself. The rest bought like thousands of clothes and bags and shoes while Audrey was urging me to be impulsive :( :( YEAH AUDREY I SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT MORE UGHHH HAHA. I miss seeing everyone everyday, drawing lots to decide who to room with for the night, going for the Gyro Drop which I wouldnt have taken if they hadnt asked me to, screaming together while watching the lions mate unexpectedly, chorusing kamsahamida each time a Korean passerby takes a picture for us and everything else! We rock and we swing! I love us so much. Thank you lazerboyz for fetching me with my heavy luggage! I love annoying you by eating my chicken wing in an unglam manner, throwing the half-eaten chicken on the table and kissing your cheek with ice cream on my mouth HAHAHA LOVES YOU
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Cause all of the stars are fading away Just try not to worry you'll see them some day Take what you need and be on your way And stop crying your heart outtttttttttttttttt
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I see the stars, they're in your eyes A playful kiss, can you tell I'm excited? A fast escape in the nick of time You lost your wish, can I help you find it? I'm on my knee, just one to start A fresh new start, don't be undecided
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Last thursday lazerboyz came back sick so all I did was to place wet towels on his forehead for hoursss. It wasn't entirely a bad thing afterall because we got to spend six days together how awesome is that (although we won't be spending block leave tgt! D:) On sunday night we brought his smelly dog out for a walk, which we haven't done so for about two months already. The sad thing was, I didn't get to send him off on tuesday because I fell sick, too. Now the high fever is gone, but my head is throbbing like mad and I feel like I'm coughing my lungs and brains out. I fall asleep each time after I take my medicine but I don't want to sleep anymore and so I decided that I needed some dose of endorphins; I popped some m&ms into my mouth after abstaining from chocolates for four days, it became so addictive and then my phlegm got so thick that I can't talk :( I feel like eating honey stars and no nut chocolate chip cookies and beef chili cheese fries and, and ANY ICE CREAM WILL DO. I feel like an old man. NAH JINHUEY FOR YOU
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crushed
sad
glad
tired
sore
crazy